The Days in the Life of the Bad Touch Trio
by Mona the yaoi freak
Summary: These are some wacky scenarios are favorite trio of friends have gotten into. There will be many ships so I will name them as the story progresses. Rated M for language and lemons (so far only vague ones but I don't know how intense they will get).
1. Cat Problem

**I do not own the BTT just the weirdo scenarios they get stuck in X3. I get these ideas out pf nowhere and write them down before I forget. This is just some odd times the BTT has had together. This first contains hintings of PruCan and Spamano with an odd pairing i like that I like to call freak (France/Greece). Yeah, I like it. My friend helped me come with the name. I hope you enjoy my story!**

"Vat happened?" Prussia yelled, horrified at what he just witnessed.

"I don't know," Spain answered, horrified as well, "France pissed off England."

Maybe we should start from the beginning. The trio of friends were having a normal day in the life of the Bad Touch Trio when England decided to rain on their parade.

"Why do you wankers always do something wierd when you hang out?" England asked.

"What?" France asked, "You always complain how drunk we are. We're trying something new."

"You're fishing," England called out to the three in the middle of the river.

"I like fishing," Spain said, shaking his line a little, "It's relaxing."

Prussia nodded while he baited his line.

England shook his head and France said, "It's better than being drunk off our asses. Or talking to imaginary friends."

"My friends are not imaginary!" England called to the three friends, "They're just shy!"

"Right," France said very sarcastically.

Prussia nodded and followed up, "Vatever you say."

Spain laughed and nodded as England fumed.

"Listen here Frogface!" England yelled, "You don't want to piss me off!"

"Onhonhonhonhon," France laughed, "What are you going to do to me?" France's eyes widened and his laughter ended ubrubtly as a beam of light blasted toward him. The green light hit him square in the face and the other two looked to where France had fallen backwards, shocked at what they were looking at. And that's how we got to where we are now.

"Vat happened?" Prussia yelled as he stared where France once was.

"I don't know!" Spain yelled as he looked at the white cat, "France pissed off England!"

In France's place was a white cat with long, blindingly white fur. It had bright blue eyes and a horrified look on its face.

"That's what you get for pissing me off asshat," England said with a laugh, "Good luck trying to change yourself back." And, with that, England walked off.

The two humans stared at France cat, and began to talk to him.

"Can you understand us?" Spain asked.

When Francecat nodded, Prussia asked some follow up questions, "Can you speak English? Or French? Or any language zat isn't cat-based?"

Francecat opened his mouth to try to speak but all that came out was meows and nyans. He looked down, saddened.

"Vell," Prussia said, "Ve have to fix zis."

"How?" Spain asked, "Only England knows."

"Zis better not turn into vone of zose stupid, story book, cliche endings vith true love's kiss and all zat," Prussia said, looking sickened.

"Awww," Spain poked Prussia's face, "You only say that because you're crushing on Canada."

France looked up shocked, but then angry as he scratched Prussia's arm.

"Voah!" Prussia yelled, "Relax bro. I vouldn't do anyzing to hurt Mattie."

France glared at him but calmed down. He looked up at Spain as to say, _How long have you known this?_

Spain just kind of looked away and began to whistle guiltily. France made a sound that sounded like a sigh and looked at Prussia as to say, _Back to the problem at hand._

Prussia nodded and said, "Ve eizer have to convince England to change you back or figure it out ourselves."

"We should probably figure it out ourselves," Spain said, "England would never help us."

Prussia nodded and said, "I can so figure it out vithout England's help anyvay."

"What makes you say that?" Spain asked.

"'Cuz I am ze awesome Prussia!" Prussia yelled so loud that you could hear the rush of wings as birds squawked in the distance, "Now let's get back to shore."

Prussia grabbed the rope and began to pull on it until they were at the dock. Spain grabbed Francecat, causing him to yelp.

"Sorry," Spain said as he climbed ashore.

When they were safely on the dock, Spain set France cat down. Francecat began to walk forward and then looked back at his friends as if to ask, _You coming?_

The other two followed until they got to France's house. Francecat began to lick himself, causing Prussia to exclaim, "Now is not ze time!"

France at merely continued until a key fell out of his fur he picked up the key with his mouth and looked at Prussia as to say, _Open the door._

Prussia took the key and unlocked the door, swinging it open. Once it was open, Francecat led the way to a certain room. He clawed at the door and Spain got the hint to open it. When it was opened, they saw a person asleep on the bed.

Spain did not know the person was merely asleep, "Oh my god, there's a dead person in your bed!"

France cat narrowed his eyes as the person stirred, causing Spain to scream a not-at-all manly scream. When the person rolled over, they both saw it was Greece.

"Hello," He greeted them with a yawn, "How was fishing?"

"Good," Prussia said, "Interesting."

Spain whispered, "I thought you were dead."

"That's nice," Greece said in his usual quiet tone, not hearing what Spain had said, "Where's Francis?"

"He's..." Prussia thought for a second for a story when Spain jumped in, "Helping England. He told us to..." Spain was now stuck for ideas when Prussia jumped in this time, "Get somezing of his."

Greece gave them an odd look before saying, "Okay. What was it?"

The other two stared at Greece dumbly. They had no idea what France cat had brought them here for.

"Oh you know just his, uhhh," Prussia scratched the back of his head, trying to think of something. Instead he pushed Spain forward, "Tell him Spain."

"Uhhhh," Spain stood there stupidly, trying to think of something.

Luckily, Francecat walked toward a dresser and began to scratch it.

Greece looked at him and said, "Awww. What a cute cat. You looking for something?"

Greece opened the top drawer and pulled something out, "Francis forgot his phone.

Francecat cast a glance at Prussia and Spain as to say, _That's it._

"That's what he sent us to get," Spain said, holding out his hand to take the phone.

"Oh," Greece said, handing the phone to Spain, "Here you go."

Spain took the phone and said, "Thanks. We should probably go."

"Okay," Greece said, "Tell Francis I said 'Hi'."

The two nodded and left the room. When they got outside, Spain looked at Francecat and said, "Greece says 'Hi'."

Francecat glared and jumped onto Spain's shoulder to grab the phone. Spain screamed loudly but stopped completely when he saw he just wanted the phone. Prussia facepalmed while Francecat shook his head and took the phone in his mouth and jumped down, setting the phone on the ground. He somehow managed to dial a number and press call. He handed it to Prussia and Prussia understood, taking the phone.

When he heard who was on the other line, he stuttered, "Oh. H-Hi Mattie."

Spain smiled and Francecat looked up at Prussia, _Tell him we need help._

Prussia nodded and said, "It's Prussia using France's phone. Ve need help... Okay great... Ve're outside his house... Okay great... Bye."

Prussia closed the phone and said, "Never make me do zat again!"

Francecat smiled as to say, _Yeah. You're welcome._

The three friends sat on the sidewalk, waiting for Canada. Soon, Canada arrived.

"Good thing I was nearby," Canada said, "Or it would have taken me forever to get here. What's the problem?"

Spain told Canada the issue while Prussia sat there, smiling like a ninny, "See that cat?"

Canada looked over at the small, white cat. "Yeah."

"That's France," Spain said.

"What?" Canada asked, beyond confused. "That can't be possible. Who did that to him?"

"He pissed of England," Spain said, "And poof. Francecat."

Canada sighed and pet Francecat's head, "What are we going to do?"

"We don't know," Spain said.

He nudged Prussia and Prussia said, "Oh. Right. Ve don't know."

Francecat looked at him so Canada would get the message, "We need your help to convince England to change me back."

"Vhy?" Prussia sked, "I can figure out how to change him back."

France rolled his eyes, _Yeah right._

"Okay," Canada said with a smile, "I'll help you."

"Awesome," Prussia said, "Let's roll."

-At England's-

When they arrived after a very long plane ride, they went to get their "luggage."

"Okay," Canada said, "Let's go get France."

They went to the luggage pick up and grabbed the pet carrier, containing a very annoyed and shook up Francecat.

"Sorry France," Spain said, "It was the only way to let you on the plane."

Francecat just glared at him and Spain handed the carrier to Prussia. They left the airport and walked to England's house. When the got there, Spain knocked on the door and waited.

When England arrived at the door, he said, "Oh look. All my favorite wankers. Spain, Prussia, France, and...I'm sorry who are you?"

Canada bowed his head, "I'm Canada."

"I'm sorry," England said, "I don't know who that is."

"Oh, vatever," Prussia said, "Ze point is, you need to change him back."

"Oh?" England said, "And why would I do that?"

"Come on!" Spain said, "Haven't you tortured him enough?"

"Hmmm," England thought for a second, "No."

"Please," Canada said, "He's like my father."

England looked at him for a second before asking, "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

"I'm Canada!" Canada exclaimed. Prussia patted his back and Canada relaxed.

"Anyway," England said, "I am not changing him back. You'll have to figure it out yourself." And with that, England slammed the door.

"Ve are going to need more help," Prussia said, "But who?"

Francecat jumped up onto Prussia shoulder and took his phone out of his breast pocket. He played with it for a second and stood it up for the others to look at. It was a picture of him and Greece.

"Oh, yeah," Spain said, "Greece can help us."

"Okay," Prussia said, slightly annoyed, "Let's go back to France's."

-At France's-

The three people went to the luggage pick up to get the newly annoyed Francecat.

"Zat's it," Prussia said, picking up the carrier, "Next time, ve are taking my plane."

"Why didn't we just take that the first two times?" Spain asked.

Prussia thought for a second and finally said, "Zis is not ze time to quvestion my life choices."

The three began the walk to France's house and unlocked the door. When they got inside, they found Greece asleep on the couch this time.

France cat walked up to him and jumped on his back, licking his face until he woke up.

Greece woke up with a yawn and stretch before saying, "Oh. Hi kitty. You look familiar."

Greece looked over and saw the other three and said, "Oh your back. With Matthew."

Canada looked up, a huge smile on his face, "You know who I am?"

"Of course," Greece said, "You're Canada. Francis has told me a lot about you."

Canada's smile widened and Spain said, "We need your help. It's about France."

"What happened?" Greece asked, worried "Is he okay?"

"You tell us," Prussia said, "See zat cat your holding?"

"Yeah," Greece said, looking at it with worried eyes.

"That's France," Canada added.

"What?" Greece said, lifting the cat, "Oh, Francis. Who did this to you?"

"England," Prussia added, "After France pissed him off."

Greece sighed and lowered France cat, "What am I going to do with you Francis?"

Francecat climbed up to his neck and wrapped himself around Greece's neck. Greece lightly kissed Francecat's head and said, "What are we going to do?"

"Ve need your help convincing England to change him back," Prussia said.

Greece nodded and said, "Let's go."

-On Prussia's Plane (Read: Germany's Stolen Plane) -

Greece had fallen asleep with a hand on Francecat, who had also fallen asleep.

"Awww," Spain said with a smile, "It's cute how Greece still loves him even as a cat. I hope I can be like that with Lovi someday."

"Please," Prussia said, "Greece loves cats. I'm sure zis is a step up from France."

"Awww," Canada said, "Don't be like that Gil. It's sweet."

Prussia blushed slightly and said, "I guess you're right."

"Awwww," Spain said, to which Prussia replied, "Shut up!"

-Returning to England's-

When they landed, Prussia yelled, "Guys!"

Greece woke up lazily and yawned.

"Ve're here," Prussia said.

Greece nodded and lightly shook Francecat, who woke up and yawned as well.

They got off the plane and walked a short distance to England's.

Spain knocked on the door and England arrived rather shortly, "I see your back. Spain, Prussia, France, and what's his face. And I see you've brought Greece this time."

"Please change him back," Greece said, "I miss Francis as a human."

"Why would I change him back?" England asked, "I find this a step up from his original state."

"Please," Greece pleaded, "I miss seeing him as him. And hearing his voice and seeing him smile. And I miss... You know what forget about that one. But you get the point."

England looked at him for a moment before saying, "Fine. But not because I like Frogface. Only because you're the only one that can get him to be less annoying and creepy for periods of time."

Greece sighed in relief and said, "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," England said, "Changing him back is simple. You just have to kiss him."

"Oh, Gott!" Prussia exclaimed, "It _is_ vone of zose stupid storybook endings!"

Canada and Spain laughed while Greece kissed France cat. He then set him down and watched as he was surrounded by a white light.

"He's evolving!" Spain exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Shut up, Spain!" Prussia yelled, "Zis isn't Pokemon."

The white light took shape of France and stood up, vanishing.

"Hey look," France said, "I'm me again."

Greece smiled and threw his arms around France who gladly returned the hug. Spain hugged them too and Canada followed suit. Prussia just kind of looked at them akwardly.

France smiled and said, "Come on Prussia."

"Yeah!" Spain said, "Join the hug!"

"No vay!" Prussia said, "I'm too awesome."

Canada smiled and pulled him into the hug anyway, earning protests.

Finally, Prussia smiled and said, "Fine."

The five stood in the odd group hug until England said, "Okay take it somewhere else. I have work to do."

The hug disconnected and left, returning to the plane to go home.

End


	2. Trip to the Beach

**A/N: Hey look a second chapter. This one really no shippings. Although if you squint your eyes you can see some Spamano at the end. I based this off of a personal expereince of mine that I will talk about in a minute. Have Fun!**

It was a normal day in the life of the Bad Touch Trio... Well... About as normal as it's gonna get. It was pretty normal by their standards. They were at the beach. Relatively normal. They swam, laid out to tan, and got boardwalk food. Basically, had the normal and awesome beach experience.

"Vell," Prussia said, downing another hotdog, "Ve should probably head back."

"Yeah," France said, "It is getting late.

"Can we stop to get aloe first?" Spain asked, "I have sunburn on my legs."

The other two nodded and they packed up the stuff. Luckily, it all fit into one bag. They walked up the boardwalk to one of the souvenier shops.

"I'll stay here with the stuff," France said, "You go get the aloe."

The other two nodded and headed into the shop. One shelf was full of assorted aloe.

"Which one to we get?" Spain asked, "There are so many."

Prussia looked at the many aloes lining the wall and finally picked one that was a bright blue color, "This one looks good. It says it's fast-acting."

"Okay," Spain said, "Let's get it."

The two walked up to the register and payed for the aloe and left the store. When they got outside, Spain sat down and France applied the aloe to his burn. When France was done, Spain got up and they began walking. Sadly, Spain has absolutely no tolerence for pain so, if even the slightest pain started from the burn, they put more aloe on his legs. After a while of walking, Spain began to sway a little.

"Spain," France said when he saw his friend stagger a little, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Spain said, trying his best to straighten out.

The other two looked worried but just kept walking.

After some more walking, and a few more applications of aloe, the staggering got worse.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Prussia asked, "You're valking like a drunk person."

"I'm good," Spain said, then fell over. "I'm not good."

"Vat just happened?" Prussia said, confused, "Did you drink or somezing?"

"No," Spain said, trying to get up, "I can't get up."

"Can I see the aloe?' France asked. Prussia handed him the bottle and France began to read the label. He facepalmed and began to shake his head.

"Vat?" Prussia asked.

"It says, "France began, "That the aloe contains a numbing agent, so you can only apply it three times through the course of an hour."

"Oh," Spain said, "That explains a lot."

"Yeah," France said, annoyed. He lifted Spain off the ground and threw him over his shoulder, "Guess I have to carry you home."

"Vere are ve?" Prussia asked.

"We're in the woods near my house," Spain said, "Just keep walking forward."

France nodded and the other two who could still walk began to walk.

After about an hour France asked, "About how long does it usually take for you to get through the woods?"

"About 30 minutes," Spain said, "Why?"

"It's been an hour," Prussia said, "How much longer until ve get to your house?"

"Oh," Spain said, "Now that I think about it we may have had to take a left by that tree back there."

"Vich tree?" Prussia exclaimed, "Ve are in ze voods! Ve are surrounded by trees!"

"The big one," Spain said, "Then you take a right at the big rock."

"Which rock?" France asked, "There are a lot of rocks."

"Yeah," Spain said, "We're lost."

"You'll have to tell us how to get back," France said.

"I can't describe it," Spain said, "I just know it when I see it. And I can't walk."

"I've noticed!" France said, annoyed, "I'm carrying you!"

"Vell," Prussia said, "Try your best."

"Okay," Spain said, "Turn around and start walking back the way we came."

France and Prussia turned around and began to walk back.

After about 20 minutes, Spain said, "That's the tree. Turn around." France and Prussia turned and Spain said, "Now take a left."

France and Prussia took a left like Spain said and continued walking.

After a little while longer, Spain said, "That's the rock. Take a right."

France and Prussia turned again and continued to walk. Eventually, they did arrive at Spain's house. But it was practically pitch black.

"Ve're here," Prussia said, "Finally."

France knocked on the door and waited. Eventually, Romano answered the door.

France took Spain and sat him on the ground just inside the doorway, "He's all your's."

The other two left the house and Romano closed the door, "What happened, bastardo?"

End

**A/N: So this personal experience of mine was when I went to Maine and bouight a bright blue aloe I was only allowed to use a certain amount of time through the course of an hour because of the numbing agent. I had to go get regular aloe because it wasn't helping and I had already reached the limit ^^" Anyway, comments and constructive criticism are excellent and welcomed!**


	3. Leftover Aloe

**A/N: Yay a third one! This has a lemon in it. it is not as detailed as what I would usually put but it's their and it's Spamano so... Have fun with that...**

"Damn it bastard!" Romano yelled at the Spaniard strattling him, "Get on with it!"

Spain tsked, "So impatient Lovi."

Spain reached over to the nightstand to grab the lube from it. He popped the cap ad squirted some in his hands to lube his fingers.

He placed one of his fingers in Romano's entrance, causing Romano to hiss. The lube was colder than he remembered. Over the next couple of minutes, Romano had been prepared. He felt like he was going numb but he guessed it was from pleasure... Although... This had never happened before. Spain could also feel his fingers grown numb, but he ignored it, too preoccupied to care.

Spain proceded to lube himself and slide into Romano, waiting a bit for him to get comfortable. When Romano gave Spain the okay, Spain started to thrust into him. After a little while Romano came, but Spain couldn't.

"I can't come," Spain said, pulling out of Romano, "It feels numb." Spain lifted his hand, "And so do my fingers."

"My asshole feels numb," Romano said, "Why?"

Spain picked up the bottle of lube and examined it carefully. He realized the problem rather quickly, "Oh."

"What is it bastardo?" Romano asked.

"This isn't lube," Spain said, "This is the aloe from my trip to the beach yesterday."

"You mean the one with the numbing agent?" Romano yelled. Spain nodded and Romano kept yelling, "You idiot!"

"Well it will wear off," Spain said. "I mean, I can walk again."

Romano merely kept yelling and swearing at Spain while they waited for it to wear off.

-With France and Prussia-

"And that's how I got my various bruises and temporary deafness," Spain finished telling his friends the story while they laughed.

"Keseseseseseses," Prussia laughed, "Zat is hilarious!"

"Onhonhonhonhonh," France gave his own laugh as well, "Yeah. How'd you mess that up?"

"Shut up!" Spain yelled, "I wasn't thinking straight and couldn't see what I was doing at the moment!"

"Too busy staring at Romano?" France nudged his friend while Prussia gave a laugh, "Yeah. Distracted much?"

"Oh, shut up!" Spain yelled again, causing his friends to burst into another fit of laughter.

End

**A/N: Only Spain... Anyway dd you like this one? I know it was shorter than the other ones but... Please comment and give contructive criticism. It's much appreciated!**


	4. Dude, Seriously?

**A/N: This one is incredibly short and contains Freak (I'm guessing you all know what that is by now). My friend Cera and I wrote this when we went to karaoke with another one of our friends. We were talking. This is our conversation (The backstory may just be the best part):**

**Mona: I was reading something and it said, "France would hit on anything that moves."**

**Cera: *laughs* And do anything with a pulse.**

**Mona: Yeah he's in the woods. "Oh I'm lost in the woods. Look, a random dog."**

**Cera: *laughing* If he was drunk enough he might hit on an inanimate object.**

**Mona: Yeah like a telephone pole!**

**And this happened! We both wrote the beginning and I wrote the epilogue. Enjoy~!**

France, Prussia, and Spain exited the bar and started walking down the street. France was stumbling, being far more drunk than the other two.

As the trio the corner, the Frenchman approached a nearby telephone pole.

Swaying, he leaned agianst it. "So... Come here often?" He slurred seductively.

_Everyday, everynight, _It replied in his head.

"So... Wanna come to my place?" He replied.

Under his breath, Spain muttered, "I'm _so _telling Heracles..."

"Francis... You do realize zat you are talking to a telephone poll, ja? If you must hit on somezing at least hit on somezing vith a pulse..." France blinked at him.

Then he turned to Spain. He put his arm around the brunnette's shoulders and slurred, "Soo... Come here often?" Spain just stared at him.

Prussia facepalmed, "Dude... _Seriously_...?!

Epilogue (Dude... Seriously...?!)

After France sobered up considerably, he went home to Greece. He was sitting on the couch with him when the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Greece said quietly as he lazily got up to answer. France hads no idea what he was saying. All he could hear was Greece, "Hello? Oh hi. Hmm? Okay. I see. Okay, thank you. Bye." Greece hung up the phone and turned to France, "I just got a very interesting call from Antonio."

_Fuck, _France thought.

End

France: But I love you more than him. Or her. Or anybody. Or any_thing_.

Greece: Any_thing?_

France: The telephone pole.

**A/N: The ending bit was because we were listening to a song at karaoke and the song went "I love you more than him. Or her. Or anyone. Or anything." Now saying "I love you more than anything" is normal. But if you've already said "More than anyone" saying "More than any**_**thing" **_**is kind of creepy. But this conversation happened:**

**Mona: That was kind of creepy, but France would have to say that to Greece after he found out.**

**Cera: *thinks* ... Oh yeah the telephone pole!**

**Mona: Yeah! *writes it down***

**So here you havite! Did you like it? Reveiws and constructive criticism are awesome~ but flames will be used back at you. **


	5. The Insanity Sauce

**A/N: This one is also based on some knowledge I have taken from situations I have been in in the past. They are also at the Five Guys near my house which has the South Shore Plaza across the street which has a Target. Anyway, enjoy~!**

The World Conference had just ended and our dear trio of friends here decided to grab some lunch together.

"Where do you guys want to go?" Spain asked.

"Let's go to Five Guys!" Prussia said, "I'm ze burger mood!"

"Okay," France said, "Let's roll."

-At Five Guys-

The three friends sat at their table and ate their burgers while the rest of the people in the fast food place stared at the culturally diverse group in wierd military uniforms who were laughing like they were high. It was an odd sight. Not that the three friends gave a shit.

"Zis needs hot sauce," Prussia said after taking a bite from his burger. He reached to his side and said, "Good Zing I have a hot sauce holster." He pulled up a bottle of hot sauce and unscrewed the cap.

"You have hot sauce... In your pants...?" Spain stared at his friend in confusion.

"No," Prussia said, "I have hot sauce in a holster _on _my pants."

France just shook his head and looked at the lable of the hot sauce. When he saw the brand, he warned Prussia, "Careful. You have insanity sauce. That's really hot and will probably kill a person in large quantities."

"Oh please," Prussia said, "I could chug zis and still be fine."

"Fine. If you're so convinced you can chug that without any problems," France said, "Go for it."

"Fine," Prussia said, removing the cap, "I vill."

Prussia gave France one last look before putting the top of the bottle in his mouth. He tilted the bottle back and began to drink the substance. He stopped when the bottle was about half empty and stopped.

He was expressionless for a moment before he smiled, "Ha! I told y-" Prussia stopped and sat there with a horrified look on his face before he started to spit the red liquid out, "Ahhh! It burns! My mouth is literally melting!"

"I told you!" France said with a laugh, "You can't chug that stuff." Spain tried to stifle a laugh as well.

"I know! I know!" Prussia yelled drinking his soda. That didn't help, "Ahh! Please help me! This burns!"

"Well yeah," France said, "Soda only makes it worse."

Spain smiled, "You need milk."

"Okay whatever it is I need get me some!" Prussia yelled, tears entering his eyes from the pain.

"Prussia," Spain stared at his friend through wide eyes, "Are you crying?"

"No," Prussia said, wiping the rushing tears. "It's liquid awesome."

"Whatever," France said, "We'll go to the Target across the street and get you the milk."

"Danke," Prussia said. The three got up and began to walk to the mall across the street.

-At Target-

The three friends began to walk to the market section of Target, once again ignoring the stares of the people in the store. Prussia's mouth was burning as he tried to hold back the hot tears in his eyes. Gott, why did he have to make such a huge mistake?

They arrived in the proper section and France grabbed a carton of milk. They walked back to the front of the store, each second agonizing for Prussia. At one point they lost Spain and they had to wait longer while they tried to find him.

Finally, they were able to pay for the milk. Prussia took it from France and began to chug it even faster then he chugged the hot sauce. His tongue went numb, but he was happy because that meant the pain was going away.

He tried talking to his friends, but he couldn't because his mouth was numb. Prussia glared at his friends as they laughed at his speech failures.

End

**A/N: As I said, I got this from something my dad told me. This is our conversation:**

**Dad: *tastes the insanity sauce* Wow that's hot!**

**Me: Wow... You never think anything's hot... It must be hot...**

**Dad: Yeah... Never use this unless you want to die...**

**Me: Sounds like something teenagers would dare each other to chug.**

**Dad: Yeah... Except they would die at the first taste.**

**And this was born! Comments and constructive criticism are excellent~!**


	6. Welcome Walmart Shoppers

**A/N:**

***Google searches 'I hate it when I lose'***

**I hate it when I lose **_**my black friend in the dark.**_

**I hate it when I lose **_**my white friend in the snow.**_

**I hate it when I lose **_**my asian friend in the sunlight**_

**I hate it when I lose **_**my hispanic friend at Walmart**_

**... Wait... What...?**

**You heard me right! Read and find out **_**exactly **_**what I mean. (Please don't think I was being racist. The first three will legitamately come up if you type in the correct key words in a Google search (I forget what the words are).) Anyway... Enjoy! (this one has no ships) I don't own anything... I wish...**

"Welcome Walmart Shoppers." The words echoed through the store from the intercom. Many people walked through the story bumping into people, fighting over the last of some things, and just being downright annoying.

So, why is our favorite trio of friends in a Walmart? Well for one thing, they are slightly on the drunk side, but not really bad. Just enough for them to make a weird decision. Such as entering a Walmart.

And another thing is, they were running out of... Stuff... Anyway, they needed to make a quick stop.

The three walked inside, or... More stumbled inside, being drunk. Prussia and France were relatively okay, being able to keep their footing and only stumbling every once in a while.

Spain, on the other hand, was clutching to France's sleeve as he unsuccessfuly tried to right himself.

"Spain..." France finally said.

"Yeah...?" Spain slurred, tugging on France's sleeve.

"Let go of me..." France said, trying to pry Spain's hands off of his arm.

"But I can't stand om my own~!" Spain protested, tightening his grip.

"Vell I can't valk like zis!" France said, finally prying away.

Spain pouted. "Okay..." he said, before inching his way towards Prussia.

Before he could do anything, Prussia held up his hand and said, "Don't even zink about it."

Spain pouted more and started to walk side-by-side with the other two nations, stumbling far more and nearly tripping a few times.

They walked to the proper aisle to get what hey arrived to get, France and Prussia bickering over which one to buy.

Spain tried to stand behind them, coming very close to falling over. He looked at the various signs in the store, seeing if one looked interesting enough to occupy his boredom. He scanned the rows of signs, stopping when he got to the toy aisle. He smiled and started to stumble to the toy aisle, leaving France and Prussia to bicker to themselves.

France finally cut Prussia off with a lift of his hand and the words, "Let's see vat Spain zinks."

Prussia huffed. "Fine," he said.

France nodded and began to speak, "Spain, vat do you z-" but when he turned, he saw Spain was no longer there.

France's eyes went wide before he began to yell. "Vere did 'e go?!"

Prussia quickly scanned the area before exclaiming, "He disappeared!"

"Ve need to find 'im!" France yelled, stumbling as his focus changed subjects.

"I know, I know," Prussia said, helping France stand up straight, nearly falling over himself. "But vere vould he go?"

"I don't know!" France yelled."Ve just 'ave to search the store."

"Vat if he valked into ze mall?" Prussia asked as France stumbled off to look.

"Ve'll vorry abou zat later!" France called behind him. "Right now, ve vill look in ze store."

Prussia nodded, and began searching with France.

-With Spain-

Spain stumbled through the toy aisle, looking at the many toys that lined the shelves. He continued walking as parents pulled their children and watched the Spaniard nearly trip numerous times.

Spain walked towards the toy aisle and tripped into a display case, clutching the edge so he wouldn't fall. He scrambled around, trying to get his footing back.

When he managed to get back on his feet, he stared at the display case, trying to read it through his spinning vision. After rubbing and squinting his eyes and trying to blink away the fogginess, he read the display case aloud. Or... He tried to.

"S... Sp... Sky... Skyl-... Len... Lan... Dehh..."

"Excuse me mister..." A young voice said. Spain looked down and rubbed his eyes, his vision focusing enough for him to see a small boy.

"Spain smiled crookedly and asked, "Si...?"

"They're called 'Skylanders'," the boy said. he pointed to the array of figurines that aligned the shelves. "You want to face me?"

It took Spain longer than usual to realize what the kid was asking. Once he realized, he gave another lop-sided smile and said, "Sure..."

-With France and Prussia-

France frantically stumbled through the store, tripping many times in the process, while he looked for Spain. Prussia followed far behind, trying his best not to trip as well.

- With Spain-

Spain and the kid were in a heated battle, Spain using a Drobot and the boy using a Spyro. Kids had surrounded the two to watch the heated battle. The boy had not yet purchased the game and was having trouble with the controls while Spain merely mashed the buttons in hopes of hitting something.

So they were pretty evenly matched.

Spain's Drobot had rapid-fire, allowing him to hit the kid's Spyro more often than his Drobot was hit.

Both of the health bars were getting low and the two were scrambling to beat the other.

Spain held down the attack button and took out the kid's Spyro. Spain jumped up and started cheering, the kids cheering behind him.

"I did it!" Spain screamed, before passing out, the kids gasping in horror and confusion.

-With France and Prussia-

The two nations froze when they heard the eruption of cheers coming from the video game section. They were about to go check it out, when they heard the cheers cease instantly, replaced with a wave of gasps and then silence.

An announcement was heard over the intercom. "If you are friends with the intoxicated Spaniard, please retrieve him from the video game department. He has passed out."

France and Prussia froze and slowly turned to face each other. They kept hard eye-contact before bolting to the video game department.

End

**A/N: I actually just thought of this when I wrote down the title. The one I was about to write took place at Old Navy but I accidentally wrote down Walmart and this popped into my head. I play Skylanders so I know the moves of many Skylanders. Both my Drobot and Spyro are at max level and have all their upgrades. Anyway, reviews are lovely~!**


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